The Red Eye From Vegas

Never take the red eye flight home from Vegas. Now pause. Take a moment to let your mind wander... it's probably all happened. All the more reason, to never take the red eye home from Vegas.

I was 22 years old. My boyfriend (this would be the one with a manicure kit and no shine powder - that was a year of good decisions) was going home to see his parents for Easter - and he did NOT want me to go. I. Was. PISSED. So I did what any scorned 22 year old would do... I called one of my best friends who happened to live in Las Vegas and asked if she wanted a house guest for Easter Weekend. BEAT THAT entirely too feminine boyfriend. But I digress.

On the way home I chose the cheap flight, I mean I was a college kid living with her parents. The flight left shortly after midnight PST and arrived around 5am central, or "my time." My friend dropped me off and I waited for the boarding call at my gate, reading "The DaVinci Code" and staring at my bookmark photo of my boyfriend. I loved him, and he loved him too. A random, but good looking guy sat down next to me. He began with the typical "what are you reading" and we had a short conversation. He was also from Dallas... and on his way home from vacation.

Guy : You have fun?
Me : Yeah, you?
Guy : Yeah.. but I broke up with my girlfriend..
Me : Oh.. so you took a trip to Vegas?
Guy : No... on the trip... oh s**t there she is.

And then I looked up and got the death glare to end all death glares. Crap. Why me?!?!

I got up and in line for the plane... got in, took my seat. As I sit I hear bickering and I look up to realize Guy and his EX girlfriend are sitting next to each other (of course) and directly across the aisle from me one row up. More bickering ensues... I just continue on reading my book as the plane fills up and prepares for take off. I am completely engulfed in the story when their bickering volume rises

Girl : Hey.. .HEEEYYYYYYY... HELLO?!?!?

Naturally - my dumbass looks up..

Girl : YEAH - YOU WITCH (except is SOUNDED LIKE that - wasn't that word)!
Wait what!?!??! Is she talking to ME?!?! (As I do the cliche looking around and then finger pointing to yourself)

Girl : You wanna sleep with him? (and trust me I am making this PG and not sounding like duck) well i caught him in our room with some slut so you can have him!!!!

Me : uh. um, what? No...n..n...n...n... No. Um... No. I have a boyfriend
uncontrollable stuttering... part of me was thinking.. ok.. Where's Ashton?!?!

Her boyfriend is telling her to stop and "shhh-ing" her and everyone on the plane is looking. And the steward (funny term) aka my HERO - stops mid aisle, blocking the view to say "GREAT book" and proceeded to talk plot with me for a couple of minutes. God love him.

And for that, I will FOREVER love the "Davinci Code" and forever avoid the red eye home from Vegas. Nothing but crazies on there.

Recent "News" I Find Annoying

It's frustrating to see the same headlines on every channel, on every website, and photos of people I could really care less about with a headline under it. Here's just a taste of a these I find frustrating lately.

1. Jessica Biel – because she ...well exists. WHY is anyone talking about her? I do not think she’s pretty and recent photos only make me think she needs a shower. I do not care if she is dating Justin Timberlake, Madonna, or beating Rihanna. Has she done anything in the last few years besides get naked in a supporting role or two?

2.Perez Hilton vs Miss California – I have not watched beauty pageants since childhood. I remember my friend Rebecca and I would get out pen and paper and snacks, and rate the girls as the show went on. Once we realized what morons they all were I stopped. However you can not see a single news program right now without hearing about the “Gay marriage question” asked by Perez and not answered to his liking. Now I love gay men (I even dated some of them), but Perez Hilton is a HORRIBLE representation of my dear gay friends. I think of my Mimi sitting in her living room and that is the only gay man she has probably ever seen and there he is ranting and calling Miss California a “dumb b*tch”. He is not helping the case with the Mimi’s of the world.

3. Susan Boyle. Does this really need an explanation? My co-worker and her husband illustrate it best.
Co-worker : “Honey come look – this is that amazing singer everyone is talking about Susan Boyle”
Husband : “Wow… she needs a makeover BAD”
Co-worker : “That IS the makeover”

4. Mia Farrow going on a hunger strike for Darfur. Seriously? I think it’s kind of cheap to take something you do anyway and say you are doing it for a cause. That’s like me saying I’m walking my dogs 3-4 times a day in protest of puppy mills. I do it anyway. It changes nothing. Look at the woman throughout the years, this is nothing new.

On the upside, it's been almost a week since I've heard how amazing Michelle Obama is. That may be a record.

100 Posts

Wow, I'm 100 posts in and you people still READ IT! That is insane.. or you are... or you think I am, either way - I need to find a way to make money off of this. (No joke cause I need it).



I thought this would be an appropriate time to maybe direct some of you newer readers to some of my favorites. For you tried and true followers since the beginning, who doesn't pick up a good book and read it again?? You? Well Crap... catch ya next post then.



I hope you enjoy and I'll try to get out some new stuff for you soon!



My Now Former Omni-Present Neighbor



Creepy McCreeperson



Some Random Additions To My Life's Knowledge



Thoughts and Happenings



I also felt the need to include a photo of one of my happiest days as a teenager that is brought up in the last blog "Thoughts and Happenings", that and because it makes me laugh. That was the best day ever. PS - I was 16 here... give me a break already.

Just Another Holiday With The Fam

Every now and then I have flashbacks to one night of my youth, it mildly resembles the set up on a cheesy horror movie. Little girl gets out of bed in her floor length nightgown and peers out the door. The wind is banging the trees against the windows and there is barely any light in the hallway. I would peek around the corner, and then run with all my might into the bathroom, slam and lock the door. Phew. That was close. The same ritual to be repeated on the way back to my room, my heart was in my chest, I was petrified of seeing him...you know... the Easter Bunny. What was my childhood reasoning?? Any man made to wear a PASTEL bunny suit can not be a happy person. I would not get in his way.



Now Easter is less of a tradition with my family, and we are all perfectly ok with that. My dad recently broke his ankle and had to get 7 screws put in his leg. He is having a tough time getting around so it was an easy going Sunday.



I was sitting on my parents bed in between the two of them, on my mom's laptop. Dad gets his crutches up to go to the bathroom, which is directly to our right. As he nears the toilet my mom tells me (and I am so utterly grateful for this)...



"He doesn't close the door so you might want to look away"



Wow. You don't have to tell me twice.



We then did what any completely awesome Texas family would do for Easter dinner. We ordered Chuy's Tex Mex to go. My mom is a lover of Chili Rellenos. Now I don't expect everyone to know how to spell this or even to pronounce it, but if you work there I expect a little more than this....

Overall it was a nice little weekend with friends and family. Despite the fat lip I now have. I got in a fight this weekend. Now I'm not much of a fighter, and I always believe its best to just walk away. But this guy just would not back down and would NOT get out of my way. So we had a face off. The score?

Cement : 1

Jewels : 0

And no.. I do not want a rematch.

Does This Work For Anyone?!?!

So I met a guy, we'll call him Doug, because that's his real name. When you are this much of a turd you do not get protection dude.

Doug called me Sunday night, I was in a movie with a girlfriend, the message said "Hey Jewels, this is Doug.. i think you have a confession to make..gimme a call." I was already turned off, but had a 15 minute drive home and thought, what the hell??

Well Doug is apparently still stuck in 1993 because he had one of those voice mails... you know the one... where they go" Hello??.........Hello???........ Who is this?????? oh its just a machine".

Moron.

I did not leave a message, I hung up and said,"oh HELL NO".

Guess what friends, the universe did not let the story end there. Doug called me back just now. And Live Doug is SO much worse than voicemail Doug. The conversation went like this...

Doug : Hey stranger, what are you up to?

Me : Hey....um... laundry (as his number was NOT programmed in my phone and I had no clue who this was).

Doug : So I thought I'd call you back from last night...

Me : Oh... (clued in now)... so what is this confession I am supposed to make?

Doug : Funny story... maybe this has happened to you... I was getting out of the shower, and I saw someone peeking through the window... it was you wasn't it?

Me : um, is that your line?

Doug : No but it gets a call back.

Me: .....................

Doug : So you want to get together this week for coffee?

Me: Umm.....

Doug : Oh, hey that's my other line but I'll call you tomorrow and we'll make a date ok? Bye

Me: Ummmm.............

And he's gone. Seriously?? Guess who won't be drinking coffee with a guy named Doug this week?? Me.

Where do these people come from?!?! Is this all that's left?!?!?!

Cowgirl I Am Not

Alright, lets be honest here. You blow a date/meeting/chance with me, and the odds are there is going to be a blog about it. Consider me the Taylor Swift of blogging but with a little less notoriety and a lot less money. I especially don’t feel bad for those of you out there who KNOW I have a blog that discusses dating/men/boys yet you talk to me anyway. You had fair warning. Now normally I give it awhile, wait until it’s not so fresh, maybe they aren’t checking the blog anymore….but if you give me attitude.. and I’m low on blog material, it’s your time to SHINE my friend.

Here is a recent conversation via “gchat” I had with, we’ll call him Sam. He is apparently a rather big fan of the rodeo – and I obviously, am not.

me: so i have never actually BEEN to a rodeo
ever
do you actually go to the rodeo rodeo or is there other stuff to do?
Sam: both
me: so...guys lasso calves? or what?
Sam: tie-down roping.. yes
events are... bareback riding, bulldoggin', tie down roping, team roping, saddle bronc riding, barrel racing, and bull riding
Me: you may as well have spoken chinese
Sam: you grew up in Texas.. right?
me: yep
Sam: and you dont knwo what rodeo is?! hard to believe
me: never went to the rodeo -
I know the basics
Sam: obviously not... i just told you the basics
me: i don't know the category's - i couldn't tell you what they were doing exactly or the terminology
i mean the bare basics. I know a guy rides a horse and lassos a calf and then there is bull riding...
theres something with barrels?
Sam: lasso is spanish...
they rope the calf
me: exactly - i know what you see on tv
thats about it
Sam: which all of the BASIC events i just listed are on tv almost nightly
me: I think you misunderstood me. I meant “on tv” as in with on “Without A Trace” they are solving a case where someone disappeared from a rodeo, or a lifetime movie based around a rodeo

As my bloggety friend Susi would say.... NEXT!

Wilson's Weapon

Now I may be the human, the money maker, the homeowner, the provider, however there is one instance where my dog Wilson clearly rules the home. This instance is ANY TIME I go to leave, and place them in their "room." That is Wilson there on the right, he looks innocent enough right?

I know you are all out there in blog world saying "you can't take on an eight pound dog?". No. No I can't. He has a weapon. He is well aware of that weapon and the power it provides, and let me tell you ... "cute little Wilson" is not afraid to use it.

This is his warning stance, aka "lock and load". I go to get him off the bed, and his legs open in DIRECT equivalence to the proximity of how close I am to him. The further I advance, the more widespread he becomes, and vice versa.

Wilson knows his "willie" is a powerful weapon, as the last thing I want is dog pee sprayed across my bed. (And he'll do it too). Every day I have to invent a new way to get him off the bed in peace so I can then proceed to pick him up off the hardwood floor and pluck him in his "room."

So basically, an 8 pound dog runs my house. I admit it.

Red Flags (consider yourself warned)

We've all made mistakes in life. I made plenty in my love life and I'm probably going to make some more. My old pal Blunt Delivery gives some great advice on what to look for IN relationships. Here I would just like to address some early signs that I wish someone had warned me about before I get in those in the first place. Any more than one of these...and I advise you to draw a square, add a line on the side, and color it in red. That's right girls, the following 10 things that I have seen/experienced are definitely A RED FLAG!!!

1. Paisley shirts. No one should wear a paisley shirt but your Mimi, no one.

2. Make up. His very own No Shine powder. I think this speaks for itself.

3. A Manicure kit - Here's a tip, this isn't because he wants to do YOUR nails.

4. Uses the Term "Beeyotch" - NO straight man should use this term, a "biotch" to avoid the word or "B" is not appealing, but it's acceptable. Beeyotch, well..... NO.

5. Tanning. After a trip to the tanning salon (Him..not you, which is another red flag in itself.) - he says "I'm tanner than you"

6. Ego. 75% of the photos on his digital camera are portraits he took.... of HIMSELF

7. An obsession for Bernadette Peters. Don't know who she is? I didn't either. Look it up. You'll understand.

8. He refers to his mustang as "baby"

9. "Matchmaker" He's getting girls numbers "for his friends sweetie.." (no i didn't buy this one but people do)

10. Overzealous on his religion. I had a pretty religious boyfriend, whom after I said "that just hit me in the ass", he looked at me, tears in his eyes and said "You just drove the nails deeper into Christ's wrists" - I RAN... FAST.

Now - these may never happen to you, but over years of my collective dating experience here are just a few things I experienced.

These date way back, the more recent ones I need to give a little more time so maybe they won't be as sensitive or recognize themselves. Maybe you shouldn't write about that Jewels. No - I'm sorry, it's just too good. If someone hands you a 2 caret diamond you don't say "Oh I can't accept this due to the movie Blood Diamond and what happens in Africa." You just don't. (Well maybe you do but I wouldn't. It's there, the damage has already been done.

More red flags to come when the dust settles - and trust me, they are JUICY.

Going Green

I tricked you my dear liberal minded friends!! You started reading! But, alas I do not mean environmentally green, but the literal action of wearing green.

I'm sorry I don't recycle, they don't pick up at my place. But at work I do recycle paper in a box that my co-worker got for me, so see... thats something!

Ok, so today is St. Patrick's Day. I will admit, I know nothing of this holiday. Nothing except I must wear green and people drink incessantly...but mainly, I know I must wear green. Why do you text "Happy St Patty's Day" and put that on your facebook status? What is the occasion? And if there is one more "It's St Patrick's Day, be safe out there"... Really?!?!?! Seriously?!?!?

Frankly these little guys scare me. They make me think of Rumplestiltskin and him coming after my first born or my dog or something.


I do not have an inherent love for St. Patrick, don't know much about the guy, and as far as I know there is barely, if any Irish in my bloodline. I have never tried Guinness, and everyday is a day where one can drink beer in my family. Frankly I just don't want to deal with people.... people and the pinching.

Damn the pinching.

And the JUDGEMENT, who made you the "That's not green" fairy?

There is not one shade of green that everyone must wear or deal with the nail punctures and bruises that resort from pinching. All day I hear "That's turquoise" or "thats more of an aqua". Listen, you are a pincher, you probably have been since you were a kid, and you have a problem.

IT'S FREAKING GREEN!

Drinking and Texting

Ok, my name is Senseless Jewels and I have a problem. I am an alcohol induced texter.

I am not sure when it started, I do know I have improved. This is due to no effort of my drinking self, but by sober Jewels who deletes some numbers from her phone to avoid such embarrassment.

There are always two main instances...between an ex boyfriend, "short lived relationship", or a random make-out guy(PG thank you very much), or even just a POSSIBLE slight inkling of liking.. All rationalization is lost so pretty much everyone is fair game. (Please note on weekends this is after midnight, however on weekdays with happy hour anytime beyond 6pm is dangerous)

1. I text silly messages with no point such as "Whatcha up to?" or "How have you been?" to guys I really don't have feelings for. Maybe I just need a little ego boost or maybe I'm just bored and want someone to talk to.

2. I text said messages to guys who I previously dumped or ended things with but they still liked me. This is never good. This always,always ends up badly. This is not just a one night instance. This then reignites their hope that I have some interest, admittedly my fault. Then the next day I get the "so what day works for you for dinner this week?" CRAP!!!! Now I have to dump them, AGAIN!

Overall - laying in bed this morning after a fun night on the town with some fun friends, I was having the typical morning after reaction as I remembered texts I had sent. Please note not one of these girls stopped me. Not a one.

"ohhh... CRAP" as I bury my head under the covers.

I'm stopping. You all are my witnesses. What do I think is going to come out of this that is GOOD? All I get is to make fun of MYSELF, and frankly I MUCH prefer making fun of others.

Cat Fight

I was reminded by a discussion in the comment section at my friend blunt delivery’s blog, of an elementary school argument that turned rather, well, embarrassing. I know – you are thinking what was NOT embarrassing about you in elementary school Jewels… well.. nothing. From my acid washed ruffle denim skirts, to my annual perm, I in no way escape ridicule. There was however, one unique incident I don’t think anyone else can claim…

The Cat Fight of 4th grade, with Katie G.

Katie was new in town the previous year and we became fast friends. We would spend the night at each other’s house and watch “Steel Magnolias” until the VHS tape wouldn’t work anymore. One night, Katie G was at my house staying over and we had a typical 4th grade fight. I don’t remember what it was about, only that we went to sleep mad at each other.

When we went to sleep I had evenly trimmed bangs, when I woke up, one side of my bangs were, for all intents and purposes, gone. They were maybe half an inch long sticking straight up.

After Katie went home my Mom and I were trying to figure out what happened, and somehow I came to the conclusion that Katie had freaking CUT my bangs. Oh man was I pissed.

Monday at recess I called her out. We were being called to line up to go back into class and were arguing again and I said “YOU CUT MY BANGS” . Katie of course denied it, whatever, I knew the truth. She was mad at me and took the scissors and cut my bangs. Fingers were pointed, words were said, feelings were hurt, and I looked ridiculous with a mini spike on the right front side of my head where said bangs used to be.

After that, obviously Katie and I were no longer friends. Months later, I was laying on the couch watching tv with my Mom. I felt a slight tickling and heard my Mom say “Oh crap”. I raised my eyes up, and standing over my on the couch cushion, EATING MY BANGS was my cat Angel (rip). Apparently she liked hair spray.

Whoops.

Sorry Katie G.

Wait Till Your Father Gets Home

I have always feared my Mom more than my Dad. My Mom is used to the “strict father” and “sympathetic mother” that most of her generation grew up with. You know…the scary and threatening..

“Wait till your father gets home”

This was not quite how it was in my house.

Years ago, when I was in college and still living at home with my parents, I had some crazy times. I would leave to go out with friends, and either
A. Get home around 2:30-3am (3am meant there was a Whataburger run for some taquitos – or Jack in The Box – no way I could eat that now)
B. Not come home at all(get your mind out of the gutter I usually was crashed at a friends place)

Now if I didn’t come home I would receive the dreaded phone call between 6 and 7 am, it never failed.

Me : “Hello”

Mom: “ Where are you”

Me: “Becki’s (or Candace, Jamie, whatever friend I went out with the night before)

Mom : You need to get home NOW – your Dad is so mad – wait until he talks to you.

So I would get home, go straight to my room and try to avoid my parents at all cost. I would get ready and go off to school or work to avoid confrontation. My mom called to inform me I was to meet my Dad for lunch to talk about my behavior and how it has gone on long enough.

I get to the restaurant, and sit down with my Dad. Our food is ordered, and the talk begins.

Dad : Well… the mommy wants me to talk to you

Me : I know…

Dad: We just wanna know where you are….

Me: Ok.

Dad: Ok, ….. you need any money? Here’s a $20.

And that is it.

After leaving the restaurant and getting back to my office I get a phone call, caller Id says “Home”.

Mom : We’re going to need that $20 back.

Weekend Wrap Up

As previously stated, I was at my parents home in North Dallas this weekend for a wedding. I spent 3 days and 3 nights up there and was going pretty much non-stop. I had a blast, some surprises, some yawns, some lessons, and generally a fun time throughout.

Some things I noted;

-It is fun to get a group of old high school friends together to talk about crazy things like vomit and snuggies. Not necessarily together, although entirely appropriate...

-I am still capable of getting home at 5:30 in the morning.

-My parents are still capable of REALLY REALLY disliking it when I get home at 5:30 in the morning.

-Never let a gay man with good taste give you beer in his home. You will like it, you will want it instead of domestic, and it will be expensive. Damn you Ryan and your Stella.

-All weddings should have a mandated alcohol supply. Seriously. I understand the joyous occasion but at least put BYOB on your invitation or something. Mini liquor bottles aren’t just for hotels and airplanes anymore! I just realized all things above involved alcohol…. All the more reason to always have it at weddings…

-A $60+ dollar tab for two people is WAY too much beer.

-Upon running into him, literally...I still feel slight embarrassment for those harassing "I like you" phone calls I made to Brian Finkelstein in 7th grade, chalk this up to "the people I didn't expect to see on Saturday night".

-Telling guys Tamara and I met in a Backstreet Boy chat room is still the best way to get rid of them EVER.

-The Tunacado at Ra in The Shops at Legacy is one of the best things I have EVER HAD.

-A party weekend is not best during Daylight Savings Time.

Overall, there is nothing better than reconnecting with tons of old friends for a weekend and feeling young again.... and now we get in less trouble....well.... sort of...

Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm

I am at my parents house for a wedding this weekend. I made the ever so exciting 3.5 hour drive last night and then went to bed in my brothers messy (understatement of the century) room. This morning, my Dad and my brother were kind enough to take my car to the family mechanic.

My Dad has always been a goofy absentminded guy, and whether intentionally or not, he is hilarious.

After my Dad and brother returned, I was letting the dogs in the backyard while talking to my brother and my Mom.

Mom : Where's your dad? Did he leave? (yelling) AL!!!!

Al: Here (this was coming from the next room)

So Mom walks off to him..... and then....

Mom : Where are your pants?

Now that's something you don't want to hear....

Oh boy.

Cabin Fever... Not the D List Movie

I know…. I left you, I’m sorry. I would promise you it will never happen again, but the odds are against us. I could tell you I’m never going to write again and that this means you must start viewing my site as much as possible to improve the world… but I don’t follow Obama’s Guidebook.

Because I respect you all and your intelligence, I’m going to tell it like it is. Folks, sometimes this darn thing gets lost in the shuffle of this craziness we call life, or for instances such as this past week, the common cold.

From Tuesday at 1pm until this fine Monday morning I left my home a grand total of 3 times, each with its own little gem to share, yet not enough energy at that time to articulate. I saved those little bits just for your entertainment whenever I was up and ready to go again...

#1. I went to see G Love and Special Sauce late Friday night. I know what you are thinking Mom “if you are too sick to go to school(I mean work… big girl now) you are too sick to go out". Well, normally I would agree, but this lesson of Mom’s falls to #2 behind not wasting money – as I had already shelled out $30 for my ticket. That’s 6 bottles of cheap red wine. I was going to that darn concert people. It was outdoors, no chairs, but I sat on the ground straight up until they took the stage. As the show progressed, I took note of my surroundings. I noticed two decent looking guys at our ten o’clock. Not bad. Not great, but comparatively they were doing fine. Along come “Paul and Steve”. Paul and Steve are the guys whose names you remember, if for no other reason than to be prepared to run like hell next time. Paul and Steve take the “I’m a dumb drunk ass who is going to get all up in your grill” approach. (Standing directly in front of my friend and I and then beer in hand saying “whoops sorry ladies..I’m Paul,…I’m Steve”). I then took the lame, but tried and true…approach of “oh look who it is over there” and running to the aforementioned decent looking boys at ten o’clock. There I stayed talking with the nice gentleman the rest of the show and enjoyed myself…well… sans a sad interruption compliments of Paul and Steve asking why I ran off… oh boys. As for the decent guys at ten o’clock – never got their name, but they were enjoyable for the half hour we chatted. Penn state, mechanical engineer, lives north of the city… see … I pay attention. You don’t ask my name I don’t ask yours. Moving on….

#2.A quick trip by a friend’s house to watch a movie. We watched “My Best Friend’s Girl” with Jason Biggs, Kate Hudson, and Dane Cook – there were some funny lines but I would not recommend it. Biggs was a one pie wonder…(side note – Brandon I apologize, I know how you feel about Dane Cook – I hope this little shout out helps heal the pain this outing has caused).

#3.Shopping. That’s right. As if things couldn’t get any worse with my “viral respiratory infection” (I know I know, it’s a cold but the technical term sounds harsher), I had to go shopping. I am going up to Dallas this weekend for a family wedding and I needed a dress. If you have learned anything about me in our short and limited time together you know my feelings about shopping…but I digress. I was in store #2. Marshall’s… aka Cheap People R Us. **TMI ALERT** This may be too much for some people but I’m going to keep it as appropriate as possible…scan on down if you can’t handle it and don’t say I didn’t warn you. I run to the women’s restroom before I start my ever dreaded shopping experience. I walk in the stall, lock the door… am going about my business when… out of freaking nowhere there is around a 4-5 year old little boy looking at me under the stall!! WTF!?!?! He is saying “Mom?? ….Mom…??” While STARING at ME- obviously not your mama kid…What does one do? I mean, I had already BEGUN here – so I just held my shoe up in his face…. I said “excuse me” a couple of times, but really… I was at a loss. After that I was ready to G.O. In typical Jewels fashion, tried on two dresses, one fit, on clearance (BOO-YAH), $20 – and home I go… back to my tissues and Dayquil.

Please know – I thought of you all the entire time (this is not true), and thought of how the blogosphere was doing with out me (this only because people asked me where I was)… I hope this long one begins to make up for my absence (don’t know don’t care… read it or don’t.. Obama hasn’t controlled blogs just yet..you still have time)…

Oh and I’m much better – seriously though, take care of yourself and watch out for little boys shooting long rows of snot – they are not your friend.

Trying the Cliches

Today is not a happy day for Jewels.... nope... Jewels is sick. I'm not entirely sure if it is allergies or a cold. Either way.... NOT. HAPPY.

I went to a children's arcade on Saturday for a 5 year old birthday party. I had a blast. Emily and I spent $20 paying skee ball, basketball, the stupid money wasting drop the coin in and see if you can knock coins out game, and some shoot em up fun. The negative here? One kid. One kid in the party room who sneezed the longest line of snot I have ever seen in my life. No joke, it was as tall as he was. At that exact moment I looked at my friend Emily and said

"oh sh*t"

It was that moment I knew I would probably end up sick.

So here I am, coughing my lungs up, body aching, and buying into every single "feel better" cliche there is because...hell....what else can I do?

I got my day time cold/flu syrup, my water, ginger ale, orange juice, chicken noodle soup, and hot tea with honey.

Surely if I combine it all something will work?

PS - Thanks to Angela and her awesomeness for designing and putting together the awesome header you see here!

PPS - Longest row of snot I have ever seen - EVER

My Single Ladies

In referral to my previous post about some naive women, I thought it was only fair to give you some insight into a typical text/email conversation between my friend Faith and I about dating. Just for comparison's sake. (note this is actually copy and pasted in, word for word)


Faith : BUT- I have see him before. When Michele first told me about him, she had me look him up. He is cute

Me : Well there you go – you know you are dating so much its making me tired of dating. Lol. I don’t know how you do it.

Faith : Well, to be fair... I haven't really been on too many dates. Just 3.

Me : Well you are out meeting lots of boys – lol. 3 dates LAST WEEK. just kidding.

Faith: I approach a lot of them myself. I don't have the patience to play cat and mouse games.

me : - aww… aren’t they all?

Faith: I'm just shooting a gun in a barrel of fish.

me: For me, I feel like those fish I’m shooting at are minnows. Lol. amoebas maybe.

Faith : amoebas are kinda cute

me: Yet boogers to catch.

Faith: i laughed at the word boogers

Locker Room Talk

So I went to the gym after work yesterday (yes, hell has frozen over, but only parts, don't get excited this is not a routine or anything...), and was in the locker room changing in behind the curtain in the small changing "area." Right outside the curtain I hear two women talking..

Woman 1 : Hey! I'm glad you made it today.

Woman2 : Me too. GUESS WHAT?!?! He actually called me last night!

Woman1: Really? Finally. What did he say?

Woman2 : Well he explained and said he was really sorry

Woman1 : Uh-huh (like she's agreeing, not said sarcastically)

Woman2 : And he said he didn't call me earlier because he didn't want to bother me at work and upset me when I had my meetings and everything...

Woman1 : Oh.... that makes sense.

Woman2: Then he told me he has only apologized like four or five times in his life and this was one of those times...

Woman1: Awwwwwww....

Woman2 : Yeah, I know! And he REALLY really meant it, I could hear how sorry he was in his voice...

Woman1 : Girl... that's great, so did he apply for that job?

Woman2 : No - he is going to take a few weeks and go to Florida and just figure out what he really wants to do and get his thoughts together and then come back and we'll be together.

Woman1: That may be just what he needs......

And then they walked out of the locker room....

Seriously?!??!?! I hope this girl doesn't sit at home crying months from now wondering what went wrong...

Maybe Minor, but Complaints Nonetheless

There are several small things that are annoying me currently. There isn't anything I can do about them, besides vent to anyone who wants to read this. And yes, I know how minor and minuscule they are in the grand scheme of things, sometimes you just need to get it out.

1. Mi Casa. I am a homeowner, and I have NEVER had more problems in all the places I have rented than I am having now. For the approx. 5th time in less than 4 months, my condo complex does not have hot water. Apparently, I live in a dump. I'm not sure who I am supposed to blame here, my realtor, the developer, the plumber who can't seem to get it right, or the HOA that just raised my rate $35 a month and FOR WHAT?!?! All I know, is I have been washing my hair in an ice cold sink on the days that it decides to go out, which has been SINCE SATURDAY. Not. happy.

2. Work cleaning crew. I swear, the staff that cleans our offices at night must be in cahoots with the guy that owns the vending machines. Full, empty, or with my name on it, the cleaning crew always THROWS AWAY my water bottle every freaking night. I have to HIDE my own water bottle before I leave everyday! Ridiculous. And sometimes, well I am in a hurry and I forget, so I have to go buy yet ANOTHER water bottle out of the vending machine. Like I said.....cahoots.

3. Michelle Obama : Fashion Diva. WHAT?!?!?! I mean really, WHAT?! All they were talking about on the NEWS this morning is how this woman is single handily saving the economy and getting people buying new clothes. Yet this "Jason Wu" character who designed her inauguration gown is supposedly on PETA's radar for all the fur he has used. My annoyance/question here?? Where the hell is Ashley Judd on this?! I mean, isn't she due another commercial talking about how Michelle is endorsing the death of animals? Or does this only apply to republicans? I hate celebrities who delve into politics. Ugh.

I am sure there are many many more, but for now I am off to work... minor bumps in the road of life, but I think the air in my tires is already low.

Senseless Crushes Part 1

Inspired by the comment section at my friend The Daily Elephant, I decided to coast through some of my young celebrity crushes. There are plenty. So we will cut them in half, this being "The Early Years".

The first celebrity crush I remember having.... was New Kids On The Block around 9 years old.. Oh man, I loved Jordan and Jon Knight. They were my favorites, I didn't care at all about the others. I had the sleeping bag, which I slept in daily, multiple t-shirts, the dolls, a book, tapes, VHS, etc. One summer my Mom surprised me with tickets to their show at Texas Stadium. My Dad took me. I remember being so excited all day, I even went and had my hair french braided and laid out all my New Kids t-shirts hoping to pick the right one. I KNEW, I mean I KNEW that once Jordan saw me it would be over. We go to the stadium and kept walking, and walking, and walking until we were at the very top. They looked like little ants and my Dad sat there holding his ears the entire time, but never complained. Man, I loved them. I still have my New Kids VHS, and ironically, just yesterday at the gym I saw a lady with a New Kids towel from 1990. (yes I know the year) No crush ever compared to my NKOTB love. Ever.

The next crush I remember, Elijah Wood. My love for Elijah began around "The Adventures of Huck Finn" and lasted through "The War." (Speaking of, when I moved last year some things never made it out of the trunk of my car, one of those things..."The War" soundtrack CD.) Elijah lost me with Flipper, but the in between was a wonderful time. I remember my friend Rebecca and I had a "letter notebook" with him on the cover. Do you remember the "letter notebook"? You would write your friend a note and hand them the notebook between classes, then they would write you a note, etc... no? Ok- back to Elijah. My friend Heather and I used to watch North over and over...worst movie ever. In January of 94 some friends and I gave him a 13th birthday party, we made a cake and watched his movies all day. We had a good thing going, and then Flipper came out......

Fortunately that same year of the terrible dolphin film, there was a ray of light by way of a bus. That's right, summer of 1994 was the time of "Speed" and the blossoming of my love for Keanu Reeves. I watched that movie over and over again and just thought he was the hottest thing ever. I was 13, he was 30. However, my parents are 20 years apart so I was 100% positive that I could make this thing with Keanu work. (Little side note of trivia, he is good friends with Joaquin Phoenix according to imdb.com, interesting). I also saw the movie "A Walk In The Clouds" and bought the soundtrack purely for him. However, I could never really get into any of his other movies, so he fell off my radar....

Somewhere in all of this young love and pre-teen angst there a fleeting crush on Party of Five star, Scott Wolf. He was engaged to Alyssa Milano at the time (that obviously worked out). That crush didn't last long, but he did earn a coveted spot on the aforementioned "letter notebook."

In 1995, my friend Rebecca and I were dropped off at the movie theatre by our parents to go see Casper. The movie starred Christina Ricci and Bill Pullman, and we enjoyed it. The last five minutes of the movie (this came out in 1995 people but just in case SPOILER ALERT) Casper gets to be "a live boy" for all of 5 minutes. Well the audience sees the back of his head as he walks down the stairs and then there is a very dramatic moment where you see his face. Rebecca and I sat through ALL of the credits just to find out his name, Devon Sawa. We then had my Mom drive us directly to the grocery store so we could search through Big Bop and Tiger Beat for his best photos. We then rented "Little Giants" with him in it. The most exciting moment of my Devon Sawa crush was when "Now and Then" came out. That all star movie with 4 women as children and grown ups with Rosie O'Donnell, Rita Wilson, Demi Moore, etc. Well there was a Devon Sawa BUTT SHOT!!! We were there on opening day, I later bought the movie.. and you guessed it... the soundtrack!



So there you go. Senseless Jewels senseless celebrity crushes up until age 14. There are also still holes in the wall in my old bedroom from where I stapled, tacked, and taped all of these fellas posters over my bed. My parents were good sports :). Prepare yourself, because 15 on is going to be a long one, I may even have to split it up into two more parts.



Who was your childhood crush?

Me vs The Mall

Sit down, prepare yourself, take a deep breath... I have something to tell you.


I hate shopping.


WHAT!?!??! I know, a girl that doesn't like shopping.. it's insanity.



It all started when I was a kid - aka I blame my mother. For the record Mom, (I know you read this) I don't really "blame" you - because of you I have more money and less credit card debt than other women who didn't have a mother like you growing up. As a child my Mom would take me to the mall, usually to Mervyn's. Everytime I saw something I liked and pointed to it the exchange went like this. Every. Time.


Me : ohhh....Mom I like that sweater, can I get it?


Mom: Wait till it's on sale.

Me: But...but?!?!? What if they don't have it then or it doesn't go on sale?


Mom: Then it wasn't meant to be.


My mother still says this.


Flash forward to present day ; it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE for me to buy something that is not on sale. I walk into a store, disregard the "greeting" salesperson with a dismissive wave, and head directly for the back of the store- AKA - The Sale.


When shopping with friends, if they suggest I buy a full price item (e-gads!) I respond "I'll wait and see if it goes on sale"


I drive my friend Michelle crazy. Michelle loves to shop and feels completely at home in a mall. Our shopping trips together usually go along these lines...


Michelle and I enter the mall, and go to Express, where I need a pair of jeans. I do a quick walk through, try on a couple of pairs of jeans, opt for the one on sale (duh) and look for Michelle. Michelle is still making her rounds through the store decided what to try on. I tell her I will meet her at the next store, call me when she finishes.



I run to Victoria's Secret and grab what I need, Bath and Body Works for some soap and lotion, and Aldo for some work shoes. I check my phone, no word from Michelle. I go back to Express, where I find Michelle in the dressing room still trying things on. I wait patiently. She checks out.


Michelle : Ok, now where to?


Me: Well I'm done, so I'm going home, good times... same time next week?


Ergo, Michelle no longer likes shopping with me. No one does for that matter. I have to prey on new friends to get a shopping buddy, ones that don't know my reputation..


This is getting long so come back another time for some info on my other shopping flaw: aka: buyer's remorse. That's me, Jewels, the queen of same day returns.

Ridiculous Gifts

What is Your Most Ridiculous Gift Ever?

Valentine’s is a popular time for gift giving in relationships. Whether “he went to Jared” (ugh), or “every kiss begins with Kay” (vomit) influences your gift giving, or something else. The dumbest gift I ever received, was definitely in the category of “something else”.

My college boyfriend, we’ll call him Jeremy, had 3 jobs, he was an overachiever for sure. I was still living at home with my parents. Now, this is the times before the blessings that are DVR and Tivo came about. Jeremy often had to work nights and being the ever so kind, generous and thoughtful girlfriend I was, I would tape (yes tape, you know VHS in the VCR) his shows.

Now being in college, I was a wee bit needy (translation = yikes). For further clarification see previous blog. I would often tell Jeremy he needed to be more thoughtful in his gift giving and give me something “with meaning.” One week after class I was at his apartment

Jeremy : I have a gift for you!

Me : what? Really? Why?

Jeremy : Well you are always telling me to be more thoughtful – and I saw this and thought of you so I got it for you! (at this point Jeremy is visibly very excited and proud of himself)

Me: Awwww….. (in typical 19 year old gooey gushy fashion) let me see!!!

And from behind his back… with GREAT showmanship, he reveals.

VHS tapes.

Me:.........................................

Jeremy : So you can tape my shows!!!!

He was so proud of himself, and I realized thoughtful is just not in his vocabulary.

What is your most ridiculous gift ever? (Whether it be something you gave or received.. I am just an awesome gift giver so I have no bad given gifts to report here)

Watch Your Technological "crazy" Ladies

Alright, let’s talk relationships peeps. (Not the candy peeps, because frankly those are disgusting, don’t talk to me if you like those.) My new bloggety blog friends and I have been having quite the go at it this week. Maybe it’s the new “He’s Just Not That Into You” movie, or maybe it’s the Anti-Valentine’s spirit running through our veins – but we have quite the amusing rhetoric going on….or at least we think so (or is it just me??). Check them out (after you read this of course) its worthy of your time, Senseless Jewels' honor.

The Daily Elephant

Whitty Diatribes

I have stated many the opinion on men in this forum, and much fewer in the arena of women, or advice directed at them. This is mainly because I’m single, happily, but still…. I question my egotistical need to advise you on your own love life. There is just something I can no longer keep quiet about. The conception (haha) of Myspace and Facebook has really added an entirely new dynamic. There is the competitive side in younger women that appears to come out,and by younger I mean college age. You know – when you are figuring your life out and you think the guy your dating is the only man for you and everyone else is out to ruin your happiness because you are Cinderella and they are JEALOUS!! Jealous I tell you!. Yes some of my friends date women in college, and then complain about them, in this instance – I just say a resounding “told you so” – hell I didn’t like ME in college. They some crazy biotches!

Below are just a select few things that i have heard fights, issues, and concerns about;

1.The ever popular “relationship status.” Should you change your status first or wait for him to change it…..should you ask him why he hasn’t changed his yet? Why does his say single now instead of in a relationship… is he breaking up with you? OH THE HUMANITY!!! (Ugh… this is why I have NO status on mine…aka nun-ya business)

2.His other “friends”. This ones a doozy – who is the girl commenting on your profile? Have you ever made out with her??? Does she still love you? What did you write on her page I can’t see it its private. (Holy hell batman – this is a bat signal if I have ever seen one)

3.The territory. This one is my personal favorite. You can spot these a mile away- you have probably seen them on some peoples profiles, it’s the ever desperate, territory marking. This is the random “I love you so much” or the “I had the best time with you tonight boyfriend”, and pretty much any constant mention of “boyfriend, lover, honey bear, etc” that pops up randomly throughout your page. Um – don’t you talk every day? Can’t you say this, I don’t know… to them?!?!? What is this?!?!

That’s right guys – that is your girlfriend....peeing on you. Marking the territory.

So – ladies – I know relationships are harder in the face of technology – but lets spray some “Oust” and try to at least cover up the reek of desperation….k??? If a single girl can see it, so can your boyfriend….

Judgement Call

I don’t know where I find these people.

Last week I had what we will chalk up to a bad date. Often my friends(and my Mom) tell me I am too quick to judge guys I go out with and should give people second chances, what do you think?

Here are just a few issues.


1.He was a meathead. And by this I mean, he looked like Mr Incredible. Not “damn, he is good looking” incredible, but like the animated character by Disney. What possesses men to work out to extent that their chest crosses a threshold before the rest of their body?! What?!?!


2.He doesn’t watch or read the news. “It’s too time consuming and depressing.” Ok, I’m not telling you to subscribe to the Wall Street Journal or listen to NPR, I’m just asking for some intelligent conversation about what is going on in the world.


3.Direct quote “I don’t vote.” That’s just ridiculous. I have nothing more on this. In fact – I’m surprised I have more issues because after this I shut down.


4. The basis of the majority of his conversations consisted of how many “house parties” he has a year, how he loves “to entertain” and bragging about how many noise violation citations he has received.


5.The only music, television, or movie reference he made in the entire two hours was “Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle”

Call me judgmental if you want, personally I think I made the right call on NOT seeing this one again.

This One's For The Boys

Boys - I have some advice for you. Now this stuff if pretty valuable. I don't know if you have heard, but I am pretty awesome. That's right, your humble Senseless Jewels has been declared right up there with grated Parmesan in writing. (Can I just say I love me some grated Parmesan? Especially with a little pasta? To be put in the same category is an honor..I'd like to thank my parents, my dogs, my.......ok you get it)



Alright - I'm giving you this advice for free, so take it in. It has been brought to my attention both about myself and my friends complaining about other girls as well....


The Blackberry** issue. **Sub ipod, phone, cell, etc if needed**



I have been told I was not nice or rude when a guy was talking to me because I was texting away on my Blackberry. I have had my guy friends complain about their date because;

"She was playing around on her Blackberry the whole time"

Boys - this is going to hurt.


She is not the one with the problem.



YOU ARE.


That's right, to reference the now #1 movie boys - this means "She's Just Not That Into You."


I don't care what she says, what friend is having a bad day, what work must be taken care of, this is a HUGE "get lost". The girl does not have a Blackberry problem, she has a "I'm on a boring date problem" - boring date meaning YOU SIR!!!

Sometimes, it's easier for us to act busy than to say "look, you're a tool - move along". Besides, we may get a free drink or two out of you..... what you want me to lie about that??

Take my free hint here fellas... the next one I may charge for, simply because of my now documented awesomeness.

Early Years....

13 is an amusing age in retrospect. So many things that I found to be absolutely humiliating at the time, I now consider hilarious.

My Dad does not get embarrassed. In fact, my Dad probably does things to TRY to be embarrassed just so he knows what it feels like, but to no avail.

I remember one day, when I was around 13, Dad and I went to the grocery store. We were walking in and just barely in the entry of the store when he noticed his shirt was untucked. Understand it does not matter where or the circumstances to my father, if his shirt is untucked, he must tuck it back in. Onlookers, be damned!! My Dad stops right where he is, unbuckles his belt, unbuttons his pants, then FULLY unzips his pants. Then, right there in the middle of the entryway he tucks his shirt back in. At 13, this appeared to take about 5 minutes, when in actually it was about one. Was the one minute necessary? Nope. Dad just saw the pained expression on my face and the flush creeping up my neck and thought it would be funny to drag out a bit.



I'll never forget, that as my Dad was doing this, a grocery store worker, a teenager, cute of course, was pushing in a line of carts. He stopped, looked at my Dad....looked at me, and said;

"Your life sucks doesn't it"

And then proceeded on.


PS - I'm 27, and my Dad still does this, I'm just no longer affected.... MUCH to his dismay might I add.

Get Your Hair Did

My poor neglected Pups. W&G have been walking around looking like abandoned rag-a-muffins. This bad Mama put her own hair needs in front of her own children's.

Mind you mine is a $7.99 box and they require $35 and a 30 minute commute - yeesh.

This is the kids "Before and Afters" ala any talk show where they give people makeovers.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Wilson. Wilson had long hair and a few mats around his face due to licking by his cohabitant. (Gracie not his mama.... sheesh people). Wilson likes getting attention, being loved, and choking himself on the end of his leash while pulling like a sled dog.

Next up we have Gracie. The culprit behind Wilson's matting issues. Gracie's hair had gotten so long you could not adequately see her face. Gracie likes any kind of people food she can get her paws on, growling at her Mama to play with the squeaky toys, and rubbing her smell on unsuspecting guests.

Thank you for stopping by, please remember to have your pets spayed or neutered.

Denial and Acceptance

Last night my friend Faith and I went to see "The Killers" concert. As we were sitting in the cheap aka radio winners aka FREE seats, drinking our beers, watching the opening band, we had a conversation via text.

(hey it was loud in there, it was easier than shouting)

It went a little something like this;

Faith : I was right earlier when I bet I wouldn't like this band

Me: I know, pick a style already

Faith: Maybe I'm just old

Me: No- we are not old. They aren't that good - I don't have time for this, come back when you have some hits.

Faith: I really don't like the prerecorded stuff.

Me: Hey we liked it with Ace of Base

Faith : But we were 9

Me : Damn.... we ARE old : (

An Attempt

I’m trying to have the courage that others show. Attacking such a public forum with such a personal issue is difficult. (Pinky inspires on this)

You write. You delete. You complete. You back space.

It’s frustration on top of rejection and depression. The frustration at my own inability to illustrate these thoughts.

What right do I have to complain? What right do I have to be unhappy?

I have no reason to feel the way I feel sometimes. I am so fortunate and so blessed.

But sometimes….

I stand, waiting for hours to pass, waiting for others to go away.

I don’t know where it comes from, but it’s like a cascade that dampens the spirit. The spirit that it takes days to build washes away in an instant. I find myself grasping for that confidence, that happiness that I just possessed, yet all I feel is the emptiness when it can’t be reached.

I am the happy, bubbly person. That is me, or that is the identity I protect and the persona I portray. It is not always a conscious effort, sometimes it is as if I am on auto pilot. My public display escapes my own evaluation, until another dictates to me "how great it is I am happy despite ______. "

There is a part that wants to say;

What do you know? It does bother me. It DOES affect me, and I am not always as happy as I appear. You don’t know me.

The other part says
I know right?? Look at me! I am so strong and unaffected!!

I ride the line like everyone else.

The worst part about the falter for me? Sometimes I have no reason why....

They're Baaa-aaack

Oh boy. This time of year always gets to me. The stress, the fear of leaving my home... it's just so much pressure!!!

Whether it's going to the grocery store, the book store, well frankly almost any other kind of store I always have the inward struggle.

Head down, do not look at them.

Would it really be so bad to get a box?

No, no, NO! keep walking, do not make eye contact, they can smell fear.

Thin mints are great in the freezer…

Aw, dude!!! – there’s one with pigtails, damn it!

GO GO GO GO!!!!

How is one supposed to lose ANY holiday weight with kids selling cookies on every corner?

And why do I feel this inward guilt that I'm treating them like homeless people? It's self preservation right? RIGHT?!?!??!

Dirty Dog

This morning I was getting ready for work with my audience in view. (My pups). Wilson disappeared from sight, and reappeared looking rather, well, “sheepish”. I feel funny saying this because… can you really describe a dog as sheepish? I can only assume Willie has done some dirty business, but I am in the middle of drying my hair, I’ll get to it in a second.

I turn back and Gracie has disappeared from sight. Great! Her too? What does the smell of poo make the other one have to go? Is Gracie just following suit?

I call Gracie, who reappears, not looking at all sheepish...in fact..she is licking her lips.

The 4 year old in me unleashed, sneered and let out a loud

“Ewwwww…. GROOO-deeeee”

And she’s the one of the two I PAID for.

Time To Change The Filter

I had a couple of friends over last night. We had some wine, dinner, and made a lackluster attempt to watch a movie. One of my friends was having filter issues yesterday and told us the hilarious story.

She was at her computer, and received this video. (Let me just interject here, while this is hilarious, I am ridiculously exhausted of having this song stuck in my head. And I don’t understand the obsession with this dance.)



Another girl was watching this video with her, and the "whoops" comment went as follows.

Random girl : >laughing< Oh well, that’s what I would look like trying to do that.

My friend : “That’s not true! You don’t have back hair!!”

Wow.

And scene.

25 Things About Me

I did this on my facebook, so I thought I'd put it here for the heck of it.

Rules:Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.(To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1.I don’t watch movies, tv shows, or read books more than once except for a rare select few.
2.I don’t like odd numbers. Yet denominations of 5 are ok with me.
3.My parents divorced when I was a baby so until I was 13 I flew back and forth twice a year by myself. Every time I would cry, and almost every time I would be bumped to first class because of it. One of the stewardesses even became my pen pal for awhile.
4.I’m not sure where I stand on the whole issue of ghosts. I don’t necessarily believe they exist, but I don’t want them to prove they DO to me either.
5.Almost any show that runs a marathon on a Sunday can get me hooked. About a month ago I caught 3 episodes in a row of One Tree Hill on Soapnet, now I’m almost through Season 1 on netflix and I record it every time its on TV.
6.As a child I was 100% a cat person. When my Mom decided to get a “family dog” my sophomore year in high school, I snottily stated “I will not walk it, pet it, feed it, or clean up after it, I don’t want a dog.” Within one year that dog was sleeping with me in my bed, I now have two dogs of my own. No cats.
7.In 3rd grade I ditched my comforter and used my New Kids on The Block sleeping bag as my only bedding. It. Was. Awesome.
8.The best job I ever had, besides babysitting, was working at Radio Disney when I was 18-20 in the studio with the morning show DJ, Dean. We had a blast, I have never laughed so hard. I literally could not wait to get to work every day. I miss it.
9.Every single day I wish I had stayed in school and finished my degree even if it meant moving back in with my parents, I hope to do it sometime soon. (Finish my degree, not move back in with my parents)
10.The first big trip I ever took was to New York City with some of my middle school theatre people when I was between 7th and 8th grades. This trip solidified my best friend status with Becki. : )
11.My biological father has chosen not to be in my life since I was 13 years old. I still don’t know why, but I am a stronger person because of it, and have an amazing stepfather who is my Dad in every way that matters.
12.I accidentally injured my brother twice while trying to get him to behave. The first time he was jumping on the bed and when he wouldn’t stop, I pulled him down. He broke his leg. The second time he wouldn’t go to sleep and was harassing me so I pushed him and he hit his head on the dresser. He had to get multiple stitches. I still feel really guilty about both, but ironically I was trying to save him from injury or getting in trouble.
13.I have two facebook accounts. Everyone from my job started adding me as a friend, and I started getting work related “wall comments” and on the other side I was censoring other comments so my boss wouldn’t see. So I just completely separated the two.
14.I have had a “Yorkie” calendar every year for several years, and I still have them all. Why, I do not know, but I do.
15.I went to the NKOTB reunion show in October in San Antonio, and I bought a t-shirt that says “Property of Jonathan Knight”, I have never worn it, except once for about 30 minutes.
16.I have spent multiple evenings(not in succession) on rock musician Will Hoge’s tour bus. It was far more innocent than I imagined or had seen in movies.. Everyone just danced around and drank Lone Star and Jack Daniels (not mixed). There were about 10-15 people cramped in the front of the bus. Entertaining times none the less.
17.My two yorkies, Wilson and Gracie, are my children. They sleep in bed with me (usually under the covers), they lick my finished plate, and I talk to them daily.
18.The worst day of my entire life was when my grandpa, Pop, passed away. I was the only family member with my grandmother at the hospital at that time of day...when she got the news. Seeing someone lose their husband of 63 years that they had been with everyday since they were 19, is the most gut wrenching thing I have ever seen.
19.I have major commitment issues. I had 3 serious relationships in 4 years, with 2 of the 3 cheated on me. Therefore I have kind of shut off for the last couple of years, and focused on me.(Also see #11)
20.From 16-18 my best friend Becki and I probably spent around $1,000 being in the first 5 rows of NSYNC and Backstreet Boy concerts. And another $1,000 attending every other boyband show we could find within driving distance. Sure it may have been silly, but I still smile and think of my best friend every time I hear a song or think of it. That’s worth more than $2,000 to me.
21.In reference to #20 we met NSYNC in August of 1999 after we followed them to their hotel. For months after that the back of my binder was an 8x10 of me and Lance Bass. Of course he’s gay. This is probably a whole separate facet of my commitment issues in number 19.
22.I went to homecoming with Michael Urie when I was a sophomore, he is now doing awesome and on the ABC show Ugly Betty. However, every time he wears a dress on the show I get a phone call. Thanks dude. I had a HUGE crush on him in 9th and 10th grade : ).
23.One of my best friends, Tamara, I actually met in a Backstreet Boys chat room. Funny thing is it was a really fun story to tell guys who picked us up in bars in later years. They seemed to get a kick out of it.
24.To this day, even though I act very confident I am always astounded if people like me.
25.I am a very outgoing person and love going out and making new friends. However, I almost ALWAYS have anxiety issues and get shy on two occasions. One, before a first or sometimes second date. Two, on my birthday, I absolutely DESPISE having Happy Birthday sung to me. In fact when I was a kid and the wait staff at Cheddar’s came over to sing to me, I slid off the booth under the table.

Some Crazy Talk

You know, sometimes, and this is no lie, sometimes.... I wish I could drink the Kool-Aid. Sometimes I wish that I felt and believed all the hype about "hope, change and a better America." I don't, but man on occasion I wish I do.

Why?
- I would probably be happier in my naivete.
- The majority of my friends wouldn't view me as a "Crazy Republican"
- I wouldn't be so upset when I read or watched the news EVERY SINGLE DAY.
- I could have some amount of respect for Clooney, Penn, Sarandon, Damon, etc. and actually be able to stomach their movies/music again.
- I would truly think the government was going to improve in the next four years.


Just saying. Sometimes I wish I could drink the Kool-Aid.

It Only Took Three Days...

It Only Took Three Days

Three days and I’m fed up, disgusted, frightened, and just about ready to give up all resolve I had to try and respect this man. How does this sound like a good idea to ANYONE?? I feel like I’m beating my head against the wall here.

I just read this article;

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0109/17862.html

First of all; how is any generalization of “I won” reaching across the aisle and being bipartisan? Did I miss the day we changed the meaning of the word? Pelosi is so excited she doesn’t know what to do with herself, and America, America is being torn to shreds.

“The exchange arose as top House and Senate Republicans expressed concern to the president about the amount of spending in the package. They also raised red flags about a refundable tax credit that returns money to those who don’t pay income taxes, the sources said. The Republicans stressed that they want to include more middle class tax cuts in the package, citing their proposal to cut the two lowest tax rates — 15 percent and 10 percent — to ten percent and five percent, rather than issue the refundable credit Obama wants”

That just makes sense! Give a rate cut to those of us paying taxes INSTEAD of giving “refundable credits” (aka welfare, aka charity, aka hand outs) to those who do not even PAY taxes to begin with!

Second of all, with Obama canceling out Bush’s ban on overseas funding for groups that promote abortion, my tax dollars are being doubly misused!

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am PERSONALLY not a supporter of abortion. At the same time though, I would never tell another human being what to do, the choice is theirs. However, I do not feel that I should have to pay for anyone’s abortion against my will, ESPECIALLY people in FOREIGN COUNTRIES.
Good start Nobama… and I pray Lord, watch over us and our fine country created by our forefathers, and keep her strong in a time of such blatant disregard of what You stand for.

It's Always Something....

I could NOT sleep last night. First I laid in bed from 10-2:30. Grace was curled up on my arm and facing me, it was sooo cute cause she was snoring (very lightly she’s 8 pounds). Love my pups. THEN I woke up. I heard this noise. It sounded like someone just saying “Here…..Here…..Here” like a broken record or something (this was around 3:30am), I looked at my phone to see if I hit something, nope. I kept hearing it and it sounded like it was getting closer and it was totally freaking me out. The dogs were barking and freaking out too – So I went and turned on the kitchen light and looked out the sliding glass door. There I see this old man, IN HIS BOXERS( my eyes!!!!) shaking keys or something.. I guess he lost his cat or dog? But I’m thinking, dude, at 3:30am? Hush. Walking back into my room I noticed I had fallen asleep with a white face mask on, and my hair was sticking out all over the place, I looked like something from a horror movie!!! I'm sure it wasn't pretty when I threw open the curtain and glared.... but the dogs kept on barking. I had to turn my TV on to drown him out so the dogs wouldn’t freak. I accidentally locked Wilson out of the bedroom and when I let him in I felt so bad and in a high pitched voice I said “awww… Wilson” so of course, he peed. This morning as I was leaving I rounded the corner and there is the same man, although luckily he has put denim shorts on this time and has his keys in hand. I feel bad for him, I mean it’s awful to lose a pet, I can’t even fathom what I would do. But seriously, 3am?????, and put some clothes on!