Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Watch Your Technological "crazy" Ladies

Alright, let’s talk relationships peeps. (Not the candy peeps, because frankly those are disgusting, don’t talk to me if you like those.) My new bloggety blog friends and I have been having quite the go at it this week. Maybe it’s the new “He’s Just Not That Into You” movie, or maybe it’s the Anti-Valentine’s spirit running through our veins – but we have quite the amusing rhetoric going on….or at least we think so (or is it just me??). Check them out (after you read this of course) its worthy of your time, Senseless Jewels' honor.




Whitty Diatribes

I have stated many the opinion on men in this forum, and much fewer in the arena of women, or advice directed at them. This is mainly because I’m single, happily, but still…. I question my egotistical need to advise you on your own love life. There is just something I can no longer keep quiet about. The conception (haha) of Myspace and Facebook has really added an entirely new dynamic. There is the competitive side in younger women that appears to come out,and by younger I mean college age. You know – when you are figuring your life out and you think the guy your dating is the only man for you and everyone else is out to ruin your happiness because you are Cinderella and they are JEALOUS!! Jealous I tell you!. Yes some of my friends date women in college, and then complain about them, in this instance – I just say a resounding “told you so” – hell I didn’t like ME in college. They some crazy biotches!

Below are just a select few things that i have heard fights, issues, and concerns about;

1.The ever popular “relationship status.” Should you change your status first or wait for him to change it…..should you ask him why he hasn’t changed his yet? Why does his say single now instead of in a relationship… is he breaking up with you? OH THE HUMANITY!!! (Ugh… this is why I have NO status on mine…aka nun-ya business)


2.His other “friends”. This ones a doozy – who is the girl commenting on your profile? Have you ever made out with her??? Does she still love you? What did you write on her page I can’t see it its private. (Holy hell batman – this is a bat signal if I have ever seen one)


3.The territory. This one is my personal favorite. You can spot these a mile away- you have probably seen them on some peoples profiles, it’s the ever desperate, territory marking. This is the random “I love you so much” or the “I had the best time with you tonight boyfriend”, and pretty much any constant mention of “boyfriend, lover, honey bear, etc” that pops up randomly throughout your page. Um – don’t you talk every day? Can’t you say this, I don’t know… to them?!?!? What is this?!?!





That’s right guys – that is your girlfriend....peeing on you. Marking the territory.

So – ladies – I know relationships are harder in the face of technology – but lets spray some “Oust” and try to at least cover up the reek of desperation….k??? If a single girl can see it, so can your boyfriend….

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm touched that you called us "bloggety blog friends". No really, I am. Thanks for the shout out though, as always (I finally added you to my blogroll. Something I probably should've done a while ago... oops)

The best part about all three of the things you listed? Obvious red flags that this bitch is crazy, possessive, jealous, or just overall immature and insecure. So yeah, those don't last long. In fact, I love facebook and myspace for allowing me to test any new girl that I'm dating to see how she reacts to what is on there.

Just one more way to help weed out the bad apples...

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

Ohhhhh.....I know. The comments on those sites are horrifying and drama, drama, baby mama drama!! They make me have crazy dreams at night. Oh wait.......I already have crazy dreams. Well, I don't think they are the "legal definition" of crazy though.

Or are they? I'll get back to you on that.

Jewels said...

Agreed Brandon - that and I just love telling guys their girlfriends just peed on them...

And dude- I check ya'lls (i'm from texas back off) pages and comments daily... its the least i could do...

MMM - as long as you keep them to yourself i think your ok :)

Anonymous said...

alright. let me just tell everyone the deal here. I know thats why you all love me to begin with. No guy should ever consider trying to marry a girl before she's out of college and through her crazy ass phase. Because we all go through it, but usually it just takes longer to get it going. We don't like to admit it though so we continually say that we are ready for marriage. IF a girl thinks she's ready, she's not. She's only "ready" because all her friends are getting married. In which case, she'll settle down before the crazy phase starts and then regret it for the rest of her life until she ultimately ends up reinacting the movie Unfaithful.

Girls, on the other hand, should wait at least a good two years after guys are out of college and through the "i'm just taking it a day at a time" phase and let them take it a day at a time until they get themselves a friggen job and throw away the permanent keg in their grubby kitchen.

if you wait until these appropriate times, then hopefully all of the above mentioned points won't apply to your relationship cus we will have outgrown such ridiculous things like public displays of affection of facebook comments. eew.

p.s. thanks for the shout out

Jewels said...

Oh Brit - Nail on the head there.

And on the grubby kitchen front - I dated a guy once who had all paper and plastic kitchen accessories. Yep - his cabinet had paper plates and cups put away like the real ones, plastic silverware even in the drawer seperator. this is what i definitely deemed "not ready"

Anonymous said...

... and Brit just described the reason why I'm not getting married for another 10 years. (Which actually just means I'm in absolutely no hurry and I'm not pressuring myself into it at any point in the foreseeable future.)

Anonymous said...

well now brandon... ten years? what are you going to get married during your mid-life crisis? aren't you already out of college, have a job, and living in your very own love palace?

maybe more like 3-5. as long as you date girls your own age

Anonymous said...

Yes, I am all of those things. I even date girls my own age (actually, most of the girls I date are older than me).

Despite all of that, I like to place realistic expectations on life. If I find someone super amazingly awesome and fantastic before then, then so be it. I'll marry her much sooner than when I'm 35 and going through a mid-life crisis.

LMR said...

All I gotta say has to do with any relationship. What you're speaking about or even siblings, parents, etc. Any communication, status, or email in general has the crazy risk of always being interpreted the wrong way. I can't tell you how many times my shiznit has been innocent and then it's interpreted totally wrong. What happened to the simple phone call or face to face?

Anonymous said...

ok i read this and i absolutely agree with the "territory" thing. ugh! i would die if tommy had a myspace and commented me all the time. thats why my "about me" says: i hate bitches with no self-esteem. my best guy friend since 8th grade is dating a 19 year old. i can go on for hours.

Valuable Friend said...

Interesting topic Jewels...
Personally, I find there is a lot of gray area in relationships - both platonic-friend ones and gf/bf ones. Some people, albeit probably the emotionally-healthy ones, can easily navigate the waters of "relationship status" by changing said status at appropriate times. It's when you run into the playas / creepy people / total ignorants that I think those issues creep up in the offline relationship. The internet seems to amplify crazy behavior.

Just my two bits.

Jewels said...

Brandon - So you plan on going through a mid-life crisis at 35? A bit young for that don't you think?

TexasMama - I completley agree- the internet definitely leaves room for interpretation - usually too much. But face to face is best.

Valuable friend - thanks for stopping by my blog... I do agree there is a lot of grey areas where all forms of relationships are concerned,however there are actions that do red flag a sense of insecurity - how did you come upon my page?

Anonymous said...

I don't plan on a mid-life crisis at all, seeing that I'm living out the "enjoy my money and live like a bachelor" phase right now. I was just going with Brit's suggestion that I would be, because who am I to argue with someone with so many odd experiences in life?

Anonymous said...

brandon, you are right. so why the heck do you argue with me SO MUCH!

Anonymous said...

I argue out of love and respect. Obviously.

Jewels said...

Awww... look at all the love a crazy lady posts brings out in people....