My Dad - the Genius

This past weekend I went home to visit my family for Father's Day. Saturday night I was sitting down reading a book, watching tv in the living room, when my limping father came in. I asked him what happened, to which he replied he had stepped in a hole in the yard and twisted his foot. He then sat down in the chair next to me and we ended up watching "Blazing Saddles" from about thirty minutes in.

Throughout the movie, Dad would get up to go to the garage fridge to grab himself a Lone Star. (Yep, Lone Star, it's my dad's caviar and you can not convince him otherwise). Each time he got up he limp became worse and it became gradually more difficult for him to put weight on it. By the end of the movie we had pulled the old crutches out of the closet for him.
As the night progressed we moved on to watch "Josey Wales" starring Clint Eastwood. Now, I love my father and for him, I sat through this movie, that is what happens with love and Father's Day.

My best friend in the world, Becki, came over mid-movie (praise her) to visit. Now, my parents LOVE Becki, sometimes I think even more than me, so it was a fun visit for us all. Dad asked me to get him another beer, but I got distracted talking. I turn around and my dad is hobbling his way on his crutches to the garage fridge.

I said

"Dad, how can you carry a beer AND use those crutches"

To which my father replies

"Because I have FOUR pockets."

He's a wise man my father............ a wise, wise man.

Wilson and Gracie vs The Economy

In the Dimoff household we are fairly conservative with our money. I have slowly but surely been working my way completely out of credit card debt. I try not to to overindulge at the grocery store as I would end up throwing half of it out anyway. That is just what happens when there is just one person and two small dogs in a household.





In the Dimoff household, we take equal responsibility in surviving the down turning economy. Gracie and Wilson take their part very seriously. Here is Gracie hard at work.






She is the brains of the operation, if any of you know Wilson, you shall understand. I like to refer to him as the reason for the need for such an operation. To his credit, he does not disturb Gracie when she is in "the zone."



As they live rent free, enjoying the many perks of my labor, I feel it is only fair for them to have a task to fulfill their day, and procure our future.



Another days work completed.



For those of you that laugh, come knocking on my door when you run out of pet food, at our inflated special rate of course. Gracie/Wilson Chow is the wave of the future, and the family is ready for the economy. Not putting your dogs to work??? I pity the fool....

Just Doing My Part For The Next Girl

Ok, so I have been out with, we’ll call him “No #1”, twice. If you can even call it out. The first time involved lots of margaritas and a Spurs game. The second time I was out with Joy and Emily after Joy’s very bad day and he joined. Over these two “evenings” he shared that he is over $15,000 in debt. So really, if he pays for my drink, I feel guilty AND think
to myself “If this works out in the long run I will be paying for this drink plus a minimum of 9.99% interest”

He’s a last minute kind of guy. This means, he asks what I am doing THAT DAY, never any further in the future. Today I received this email.

From “No #1” How is your day treating you? YOu have anything going on tonight?

**NOTE** I opted not to change spelling or incorrect capitalization.

My reply
Busy! You? Tonight I have my friends bridal fitting. Exciting I know. Don't be jealous.
**NOTE** This is a lie. I am not good at turning people down.

From “No #1”
The day is moving along now... Just finishing up with a submittal. I actually have a free night so I was going to see if you wanted to get together....

**NOTE** He is obviously skilled in making a girl feel special.

My reply
Sorry! I tend to be pretty popular.

**NOTE** No apology or “another night?” gratuity here.

From “No #1”
When is your next free day ohhh popular one?

My reply
it is always at least two days later than the current day…

I have not heard back from him since. I’m curious, do you guys think he’s offended or just doesn’t get it? Either way, I think that finally capped off “No #1”, hopefully with a lesson learned.

Your welcome “No #1’s” girl of the future, you are welcome.

Another weekend, another $300

Who doesn't look forward to the weekend!?!? Well.. probably people that work on the weekends, but I digress, I had a good weekend.

Friday night my friend Emily and I went out, followed by some late night drinking and old school Nintendo with Christina making it a party of three. C and I drank WAY too much vodka, Emily... paced herself. Not as fun, but definitely more rewarding the next day. Saturday night I went out as well and had some great times with friends. Sunday is where things got interesting.

I was taking out Wilson and Gracie around 9:15 am, I barely round the corner and there are two men in each other's faces with a bunch of "What the F dude" and "F you.. you better back the F up bro". Really people, is there NOTHING else to say in the prelude to a fight? It's so repetitive and really kills the entertainment value. How about getting creative? Using some new four letter words or something besides dude or "bro"? As I am in my shorts and t-shirt (pj's) I go back in and call my neighbor Christina and she comes down, we walk our dogs together by the guys so we can eavesdrop. Soon there are more guys outside and the police are called. (And arrive within 2 minutes for which I give them kudos). Two men and a girl walk by and say they were kept up at 4:30 am with the fighting and apparently some guy got his arm broken. They had attended a party at our complex and their ride home left them. So there is that drama.... however, the good news is, one of said men who were filling us in... C.U.T.E. And I THINK he lives in my building. Since good looking neighbor #1 now has a live in girlfriend, I am ecstatic to have a good looking neighbor #2 to strut by on occasion :) Awesome. Christina and I then went up to her place to watch from her patio which overlooked the action. Another cop arrived to which Christina says "We Live in a DUMP". Which is only funny because we live in one of the safest zip codes in the city. We also noticed the cop was QUITE attractive. Hence the pajama effect, back in full force.

Later on that day I was running errands, you know, grocery store, Linens and Things, (Home Depot if I had the time...ha). At the grocery store the checker was ringing up my wine and looks at me, then says

"I need to see your Vroom Vroom license" COMPLETE with driving hand gestures. While new and unheard before, still completely lame.

At the end of the day, I had brought my weekend total spending to $300, and made myself feel older than ever. Why you ask?

Because I am super excited about a purchase. The purchase of my new DUST BUSTER...

Yep, pre order the cane and dentures people, I'm on my way to senior discounts.