The Red Eye From Vegas

Never take the red eye flight home from Vegas. Now pause. Take a moment to let your mind wander... it's probably all happened. All the more reason, to never take the red eye home from Vegas.

I was 22 years old. My boyfriend (this would be the one with a manicure kit and no shine powder - that was a year of good decisions) was going home to see his parents for Easter - and he did NOT want me to go. I. Was. PISSED. So I did what any scorned 22 year old would do... I called one of my best friends who happened to live in Las Vegas and asked if she wanted a house guest for Easter Weekend. BEAT THAT entirely too feminine boyfriend. But I digress.

On the way home I chose the cheap flight, I mean I was a college kid living with her parents. The flight left shortly after midnight PST and arrived around 5am central, or "my time." My friend dropped me off and I waited for the boarding call at my gate, reading "The DaVinci Code" and staring at my bookmark photo of my boyfriend. I loved him, and he loved him too. A random, but good looking guy sat down next to me. He began with the typical "what are you reading" and we had a short conversation. He was also from Dallas... and on his way home from vacation.

Guy : You have fun?
Me : Yeah, you?
Guy : Yeah.. but I broke up with my girlfriend..
Me : Oh.. so you took a trip to Vegas?
Guy : No... on the trip... oh s**t there she is.

And then I looked up and got the death glare to end all death glares. Crap. Why me?!?!

I got up and in line for the plane... got in, took my seat. As I sit I hear bickering and I look up to realize Guy and his EX girlfriend are sitting next to each other (of course) and directly across the aisle from me one row up. More bickering ensues... I just continue on reading my book as the plane fills up and prepares for take off. I am completely engulfed in the story when their bickering volume rises

Girl : Hey.. .HEEEYYYYYYY... HELLO?!?!?

Naturally - my dumbass looks up..

Girl : YEAH - YOU WITCH (except is SOUNDED LIKE that - wasn't that word)!
Wait what!?!??! Is she talking to ME?!?! (As I do the cliche looking around and then finger pointing to yourself)

Girl : You wanna sleep with him? (and trust me I am making this PG and not sounding like duck) well i caught him in our room with some slut so you can have him!!!!

Me : uh. um, what? No...n..n...n...n... No. Um... No. I have a boyfriend
uncontrollable stuttering... part of me was thinking.. ok.. Where's Ashton?!?!

Her boyfriend is telling her to stop and "shhh-ing" her and everyone on the plane is looking. And the steward (funny term) aka my HERO - stops mid aisle, blocking the view to say "GREAT book" and proceeded to talk plot with me for a couple of minutes. God love him.

And for that, I will FOREVER love the "Davinci Code" and forever avoid the red eye home from Vegas. Nothing but crazies on there.

Recent "News" I Find Annoying

It's frustrating to see the same headlines on every channel, on every website, and photos of people I could really care less about with a headline under it. Here's just a taste of a these I find frustrating lately.

1. Jessica Biel – because she ...well exists. WHY is anyone talking about her? I do not think she’s pretty and recent photos only make me think she needs a shower. I do not care if she is dating Justin Timberlake, Madonna, or beating Rihanna. Has she done anything in the last few years besides get naked in a supporting role or two?

2.Perez Hilton vs Miss California – I have not watched beauty pageants since childhood. I remember my friend Rebecca and I would get out pen and paper and snacks, and rate the girls as the show went on. Once we realized what morons they all were I stopped. However you can not see a single news program right now without hearing about the “Gay marriage question” asked by Perez and not answered to his liking. Now I love gay men (I even dated some of them), but Perez Hilton is a HORRIBLE representation of my dear gay friends. I think of my Mimi sitting in her living room and that is the only gay man she has probably ever seen and there he is ranting and calling Miss California a “dumb b*tch”. He is not helping the case with the Mimi’s of the world.

3. Susan Boyle. Does this really need an explanation? My co-worker and her husband illustrate it best.
Co-worker : “Honey come look – this is that amazing singer everyone is talking about Susan Boyle”
Husband : “Wow… she needs a makeover BAD”
Co-worker : “That IS the makeover”

4. Mia Farrow going on a hunger strike for Darfur. Seriously? I think it’s kind of cheap to take something you do anyway and say you are doing it for a cause. That’s like me saying I’m walking my dogs 3-4 times a day in protest of puppy mills. I do it anyway. It changes nothing. Look at the woman throughout the years, this is nothing new.

On the upside, it's been almost a week since I've heard how amazing Michelle Obama is. That may be a record.

100 Posts

Wow, I'm 100 posts in and you people still READ IT! That is insane.. or you are... or you think I am, either way - I need to find a way to make money off of this. (No joke cause I need it).



I thought this would be an appropriate time to maybe direct some of you newer readers to some of my favorites. For you tried and true followers since the beginning, who doesn't pick up a good book and read it again?? You? Well Crap... catch ya next post then.



I hope you enjoy and I'll try to get out some new stuff for you soon!



My Now Former Omni-Present Neighbor



Creepy McCreeperson



Some Random Additions To My Life's Knowledge



Thoughts and Happenings



I also felt the need to include a photo of one of my happiest days as a teenager that is brought up in the last blog "Thoughts and Happenings", that and because it makes me laugh. That was the best day ever. PS - I was 16 here... give me a break already.

Just Another Holiday With The Fam

Every now and then I have flashbacks to one night of my youth, it mildly resembles the set up on a cheesy horror movie. Little girl gets out of bed in her floor length nightgown and peers out the door. The wind is banging the trees against the windows and there is barely any light in the hallway. I would peek around the corner, and then run with all my might into the bathroom, slam and lock the door. Phew. That was close. The same ritual to be repeated on the way back to my room, my heart was in my chest, I was petrified of seeing him...you know... the Easter Bunny. What was my childhood reasoning?? Any man made to wear a PASTEL bunny suit can not be a happy person. I would not get in his way.



Now Easter is less of a tradition with my family, and we are all perfectly ok with that. My dad recently broke his ankle and had to get 7 screws put in his leg. He is having a tough time getting around so it was an easy going Sunday.



I was sitting on my parents bed in between the two of them, on my mom's laptop. Dad gets his crutches up to go to the bathroom, which is directly to our right. As he nears the toilet my mom tells me (and I am so utterly grateful for this)...



"He doesn't close the door so you might want to look away"



Wow. You don't have to tell me twice.



We then did what any completely awesome Texas family would do for Easter dinner. We ordered Chuy's Tex Mex to go. My mom is a lover of Chili Rellenos. Now I don't expect everyone to know how to spell this or even to pronounce it, but if you work there I expect a little more than this....

Overall it was a nice little weekend with friends and family. Despite the fat lip I now have. I got in a fight this weekend. Now I'm not much of a fighter, and I always believe its best to just walk away. But this guy just would not back down and would NOT get out of my way. So we had a face off. The score?

Cement : 1

Jewels : 0

And no.. I do not want a rematch.