Monday, February 16, 2009

Me vs The Mall

Sit down, prepare yourself, take a deep breath... I have something to tell you.


I hate shopping.


WHAT!?!??! I know, a girl that doesn't like shopping.. it's insanity.



It all started when I was a kid - aka I blame my mother. For the record Mom, (I know you read this) I don't really "blame" you - because of you I have more money and less credit card debt than other women who didn't have a mother like you growing up. As a child my Mom would take me to the mall, usually to Mervyn's. Everytime I saw something I liked and pointed to it the exchange went like this. Every. Time.


Me : ohhh....Mom I like that sweater, can I get it?


Mom: Wait till it's on sale.

Me: But...but?!?!? What if they don't have it then or it doesn't go on sale?


Mom: Then it wasn't meant to be.


My mother still says this.


Flash forward to present day ; it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE for me to buy something that is not on sale. I walk into a store, disregard the "greeting" salesperson with a dismissive wave, and head directly for the back of the store- AKA - The Sale.


When shopping with friends, if they suggest I buy a full price item (e-gads!) I respond "I'll wait and see if it goes on sale"


I drive my friend Michelle crazy. Michelle loves to shop and feels completely at home in a mall. Our shopping trips together usually go along these lines...


Michelle and I enter the mall, and go to Express, where I need a pair of jeans. I do a quick walk through, try on a couple of pairs of jeans, opt for the one on sale (duh) and look for Michelle. Michelle is still making her rounds through the store decided what to try on. I tell her I will meet her at the next store, call me when she finishes.



I run to Victoria's Secret and grab what I need, Bath and Body Works for some soap and lotion, and Aldo for some work shoes. I check my phone, no word from Michelle. I go back to Express, where I find Michelle in the dressing room still trying things on. I wait patiently. She checks out.


Michelle : Ok, now where to?


Me: Well I'm done, so I'm going home, good times... same time next week?


Ergo, Michelle no longer likes shopping with me. No one does for that matter. I have to prey on new friends to get a shopping buddy, ones that don't know my reputation..


This is getting long so come back another time for some info on my other shopping flaw: aka: buyer's remorse. That's me, Jewels, the queen of same day returns.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

We'd definitely shop well together. My mom trained me the same way, so I head right to the back of the store... and I (almost) never pay full price for anything. Buyer's remorse? Yep, got that too. I'll return things not necessarily the same day, since I'm usually in too big of a hurry to just go home, but sometimes the next day, or the next time I'm out.

My female friends hate shopping with me because I do the same thing you do... they go to try a dozen things on in Banana Republic, and by the time I'm done everywhere else in the mall, they're finally finishing up at their one store. Then they get treated to a bunch of cynical comments the rest of the day while they finish their shopping. (This is why I usually drive to the mall and not them, I'm not afraid to leave them behind and they know it.)

Jewels said...

I always "meet up" with friends at the mall... because I make the same comments throughout the rest of the shopping experience once I'm done. Which is almost always within the hour barring the Christmas crowd.

Anonymous said...

well first of all jules... did you guys steal our mall? cus it sounds exactly the same. we have absolutely nothing original or cool AT ALL.

Anyway, i too am starting to get to the point where i won't buy stuff unless it's on sale cus never fails i buy some freakin sweater for 60 bucks and its like 20 the week after. so i've had it.

and express jeans are the way to go. they are the bomb. except all the ones i like are 98 bucks

Anonymous said...

and buyers remorse? oh man, mine is so bad. the problem is i usually get too excited and rip the tags right off. then the next day i'm like crap... luckily i have one of those little guns that attaches the tags from my old retail store. so i'm all set now

Jewels said...

Brit - You have no idea how many times I have wished I had one of those~

If a friend keeps me in the mall past my "expiration" I start returning. It comes down to "do I really NEED this??" Yet I can go downtown on a saturday and spent $60 without blinking.

Mom should have given me the cheap alcohol lecture too.

? said...

the elephant made me laugh

Anonymous said...

listen... it's so funny when my friend "the cheap mom" you know, from the breast pumping blog... well we will gather all this crap, and never fails. we're there by the magazines and we just start dumping everything next to the tic tacs. ... the walmart workers HATE us.

Anonymous said...

So I don't get on your blog very often, but I had to write a reply to this one! Remember this past summer when we were on our way to float the river and we stopped by the mall? I lasted maybe 20 minutes, so you're better than I am! =)

I like the idea of shopping, but hate the act of actually going to a mall and doing it. I lose interest quickly and it goes down hill from there. I just went to Old Navy last week and had a gift card for $100. Found 2 pairs of cute sandals, and ended up going over by $60. Guilt. Horrible guilt. Hope Scout can eat later this month! =)

Anonymous said...

Jewels,
I'm a bit further down Cheapskate Road than you are. I've moved from the sales rack to the thrift store.

I simply feel lost in department stores now. I see a $30 tag on a shirt and I flip out. WTF?
I could get that same shirt (with a little bit of fading and pilling) for $2 at my favorite thrift.

Dude, you killed me with the 'cheap alcohol' line. If only.

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

I told you that your Mom is overboard intelligent :)
I'm thrifty as well....(I hate the word frugal....makes me sound cheap you know?).

Reggie Girl

LMR said...

I can't agree any more. I have a love.hate relationship with shopping. I have instant happiness when I find something I love but I won't pay full price for anything. I went to Gap yesterday with a gift card and couldn't find one damn thing.

Anonymous said...

Jewels, I did give you a lesson on cheap alcohol. Drink at home. I used to go out and order water with lemon in my younger days. The bartenders didn't like me. I was a single Mom and couldn't afford the luxury of a mixed drink.

Jewels said...

Sheesh Mom way to lay on the guilt.

And you are the one always telling me to go out and meet a husband! ha

Anonymous said...

Hold on a minute... there's a recession on, shouldn't we be knitting our underwear?

www.okathleen.wordpress.com

Unknown said...

My friend Emily T hates shopping too. She only likes it for a short time and only at like 2 stores.