Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Going Green

I tricked you my dear liberal minded friends!! You started reading! But, alas I do not mean environmentally green, but the literal action of wearing green.

I'm sorry I don't recycle, they don't pick up at my place. But at work I do recycle paper in a box that my co-worker got for me, so see... thats something!

Ok, so today is St. Patrick's Day. I will admit, I know nothing of this holiday. Nothing except I must wear green and people drink incessantly...but mainly, I know I must wear green. Why do you text "Happy St Patty's Day" and put that on your facebook status? What is the occasion? And if there is one more "It's St Patrick's Day, be safe out there"... Really?!?!?! Seriously?!?!?

Frankly these little guys scare me. They make me think of Rumplestiltskin and him coming after my first born or my dog or something.


I do not have an inherent love for St. Patrick, don't know much about the guy, and as far as I know there is barely, if any Irish in my bloodline. I have never tried Guinness, and everyday is a day where one can drink beer in my family. Frankly I just don't want to deal with people.... people and the pinching.

Damn the pinching.

And the JUDGEMENT, who made you the "That's not green" fairy?

There is not one shade of green that everyone must wear or deal with the nail punctures and bruises that resort from pinching. All day I hear "That's turquoise" or "thats more of an aqua". Listen, you are a pincher, you probably have been since you were a kid, and you have a problem.

IT'S FREAKING GREEN!

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hate the pinching as well.
I much prefer to just smack somone in the face instead, lol.
Bill loves Guiness...I say that it's an acquired taste but whatever he likes I guess......

Anonymous said...

If someone pinched me today, that would be the end of them. Seriously. I didn't wear anything green today either...

I have to stick to my time honored tradition of bucking all traditions.

Liz said...

This is a good one! I love it!

Anonymous said...

jewels - cannot believe i have you as a blogging friend and you do not recycle! i have 4 recycle bins and one normal bin.. and a compost bin for my veggie garden. :D

yeah St patricks day a day when no one will think bad of you if you start drinking at 7am in the morning.. "ill have eggs and bacon with a side of guiness ale wench!" most people are passed about by about 2pm anyway.

Brandon - if you buck all traditions should you be bucking your tradition of avoiding traditions?

and whats with the pinching i have to admit ive never heard of that before!

Jewels said...

Reggie - Never tried Guiness, maybe some day :) Stupid pinchers

Jewels said...

Brandon - How super cool are you?

Jewels said...

liz - FINALLY a comment from you!

Jewels said...

Susi - I'm sorry - we don't have recycling bins in my neighborhood, I do recycle paper at work daily though :)

Here is America - if you don't wear green on St Patrick's Day people pinch you. It is stupid and I hate it.

Carrie Maxwell said...

i went to a st. patricks day party once in my teens... i was scared. there were a bunch of really old men acting inappropriately. (in retrospect, they were probably in their forties)

i've not been fond of the day since. i think it's a day for men to act like pigs... and i think only other men think that is okay.

i don't care what day it is, it's never okay for a strange man to pinch a teen, anywhere. :)

Anonymous said...

Brandon - How super cool are you?

I'm just going to assume this is a rhetorical question.

Anonymous said...

yea. i didn't wear green pajamas yesterday around my house either... i wasn't very spirited.

1. don't ever try guiness, it sucks

2. after spending st. patricks day IN ireland. .. i now refuse to celebrate. just not the same

3. i'm so glad this post wasn't about recycling. Susi, this doesn't surprise me. you brits and aussies are so freaking into the environment and eating healthy and all that crap. it makes ME SICK! haha

4. what? you're shirt IS aqua.

Anonymous said...

Alas I wore black and no one pinched me.