I feel I’ve lost my way
I have gotten so involved in politics. So trapped in the pattern of waking up, going to work, going home for dinner, some puppy and tv time, and then to bed, I’m on auto pilot. I suppose I am reaching this plateau. The realization that I am standing still and not moving side to side, up and down, but remaining sedentary hits me in the one question I have received lately from old friends.
“What have you been up to?” or “What’s new with you”
To these questions I have no response, merely “same old, same old.” I am almost 27 years old. I am in the middle of what some people would label an amazing and fun filled time. Yet I truly have nothing new to say or add to my recent “happenings.”
Last week I stepped outside my box, just a bit. I went to see So You Think You can Dance with two friends, one old, one new. I dyed my hair red, yep, red.
I have gotten so involved in politics. So trapped in the pattern of waking up, going to work, going home for dinner, some puppy and tv time, and then to bed, I’m on auto pilot. I suppose I am reaching this plateau. The realization that I am standing still and not moving side to side, up and down, but remaining sedentary hits me in the one question I have received lately from old friends.
“What have you been up to?” or “What’s new with you”
To these questions I have no response, merely “same old, same old.” I am almost 27 years old. I am in the middle of what some people would label an amazing and fun filled time. Yet I truly have nothing new to say or add to my recent “happenings.”
Last week I stepped outside my box, just a bit. I went to see So You Think You can Dance with two friends, one old, one new. I dyed my hair red, yep, red.
I went to see New Kids on The Block for the first time since I was 9 years old and truly thought they would appreciate it if I wore one of their shirts to the concert and take notice. (They didn't) It was SO FUN to sit there and sing the old songs from when I was a kid. And they looked pretty good too.
What an amazing time I had last week. Here I am in the middle of this week asking myself, now what? Do I just go back to the routine? Do I just associate with the same people? What do I look forward to?
I have recently found myself doing something I never thought I would do…. Missing Dallas. Don’t panic, or get excited, I’m not going back. I am just starting to appreciate what it was to have the life I led and how much I truly enjoyed it. I could drop in and visit with my parents. I still talk to my Mom often but getting my Dad to chat on the phone is like pulling teeth. I hardly talk to my brother and sister. I have left so many great friends behind and they have just fallen beneath the cracks. Please don’t misunderstand, I have AMAZING friends here in Austin and I love all of them dearly and would not trade our friendships. I hope they continue to grow, but I don’t feel I’m seeing them either!
What I feel I am saying is I want
-to extend the figurative branch back out to my Dallas people
-I want to go out more
- I want to have fun
- I want to sleep less
-I want to reconnect
- I want to laugh
I need out of this politic bubble the world is constantly shoving at us. I need to leave my home more, see more sights, take the dogs for longer walks, and hell even run up some more credit card debt if that’s what it takes.
Three years ago, I was exhausted, deep in debt, and flying by the seat of my pants. Today I am well rested, for the most part out of debt and about as bored with myself as they come.
Where is the mix between the responsibilities adulthood and life?
4 comments:
I feel ya on so many levels. I can identify with a lot of what you said!!
You can have fun without credit card debt. You do need to get out more. I have been telling you that for a while. I love you.
Mom
You're right! A break to go to Vegas for a friends birthday! =) Love ya!!!
Wow.
Start a new hobby?
Photography? nerdy, I know. You'll meet new people.
I feel ya.
hey..LOVE the red hair!!
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