Wilson's Weapon

Now I may be the human, the money maker, the homeowner, the provider, however there is one instance where my dog Wilson clearly rules the home. This instance is ANY TIME I go to leave, and place them in their "room." That is Wilson there on the right, he looks innocent enough right?

I know you are all out there in blog world saying "you can't take on an eight pound dog?". No. No I can't. He has a weapon. He is well aware of that weapon and the power it provides, and let me tell you ... "cute little Wilson" is not afraid to use it.

This is his warning stance, aka "lock and load". I go to get him off the bed, and his legs open in DIRECT equivalence to the proximity of how close I am to him. The further I advance, the more widespread he becomes, and vice versa.

Wilson knows his "willie" is a powerful weapon, as the last thing I want is dog pee sprayed across my bed. (And he'll do it too). Every day I have to invent a new way to get him off the bed in peace so I can then proceed to pick him up off the hardwood floor and pluck him in his "room."

So basically, an 8 pound dog runs my house. I admit it.

Get Your Hair Did

My poor neglected Pups. W&G have been walking around looking like abandoned rag-a-muffins. This bad Mama put her own hair needs in front of her own children's.

Mind you mine is a $7.99 box and they require $35 and a 30 minute commute - yeesh.

This is the kids "Before and Afters" ala any talk show where they give people makeovers.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Wilson. Wilson had long hair and a few mats around his face due to licking by his cohabitant. (Gracie not his mama.... sheesh people). Wilson likes getting attention, being loved, and choking himself on the end of his leash while pulling like a sled dog.

Next up we have Gracie. The culprit behind Wilson's matting issues. Gracie's hair had gotten so long you could not adequately see her face. Gracie likes any kind of people food she can get her paws on, growling at her Mama to play with the squeaky toys, and rubbing her smell on unsuspecting guests.

Thank you for stopping by, please remember to have your pets spayed or neutered.

Dirty Dog

This morning I was getting ready for work with my audience in view. (My pups). Wilson disappeared from sight, and reappeared looking rather, well, “sheepish”. I feel funny saying this because… can you really describe a dog as sheepish? I can only assume Willie has done some dirty business, but I am in the middle of drying my hair, I’ll get to it in a second.

I turn back and Gracie has disappeared from sight. Great! Her too? What does the smell of poo make the other one have to go? Is Gracie just following suit?

I call Gracie, who reappears, not looking at all sheepish...in fact..she is licking her lips.

The 4 year old in me unleashed, sneered and let out a loud

“Ewwwww…. GROOO-deeeee”

And she’s the one of the two I PAID for.

Dogs Have Feelings Too

I liken this one to shame with a touch of resentment.

The Senseless Injuries Hurt The Most

Ouch

What makes you feel more asinine than injuring yourself in a dim-witted way that is entirely avoidable? For me, it would be having two instances within the span of several hours.

Foolish injury #1; While getting into bed last night. Now going to bed, I have to pick my one dog, Gracie, up because she can’t make the jump up to the height of the bed. Wilson usually does it himself. I picked up Gracie and put her on the bed, then climbed in the middle under the covers and called Wilson. He made a valiant effort, but the rear half of his body didn’t get the clearance desired, and with panic in his eyes he started sliding off the bed. I of course, being the devoted parent I am, dove to the rescue. As I reached Wilson with my right arm I reached behind me to place him on the bed. While doing so, I myself was sliding very similarly the way he had, but in the reverse position, down to the floor. Instead of dropping him and using my hand to stop my fall, I saved the dog and hit my chin on the hard wood floor. Duh. I then turned and looked up to see both dogs staring at me from atop MY bed.

Foolish Injury #2; Waking up this morning. I proceeded into the bathroom to turn on the shower, which always needs a couple of minutes to heat up. Upon rising, I slam the top middle of my head on the cabinet over the toilet. This is the 3rd time this has happened. I am not proud.

I now have a sore chin, a bump and scab on the top of my head, and a horrible headache.

I am feeling smart today!

Stay out of trouble or don’t get caught.

My (now former) Omnipresent Neighbor

I adore kids. I have baby-sat since I was 12 and at 26 continue to do so because I enjoy it. There have been a few kids that have tested my patience, but never one I actually RAN from. That is, until I bought my condo. It started out innocent enough with the little girl living next door. I would be out with Wilson and Gracie and she would stop by to pet them or say hi. She would often say “I love Yorkshire Terriers,” or “they are so cute.” One day I met her parents and told them their daughter was cute and smart, and I thought it was odd that they seemed surprised!

And then I learned why….

I swear, there are TWENTY of that one little girl. She is around every corner, at the mailboxes, on the stairs, riding her bike around the building, EVERYWHERE.. and she talks and talk and talks….. It got to the point where my neighbor and I would see her down the way and turn, change our course, or pick up to the pace to the point of a freaking sprint to avoid the kid. Being the kid lover I am, I started to feel guilty and tried to be kinder to her. Then one Sunday night, when I had 3 friends over, and Ernie too (neighbor’s dog), there was a knock on the door. Naturally all three dogs go crazy barking and running around, and we all pause the movie. I have no idea who could be at the door as my neighbor and two closest friends are there, and I can see no one through the peep hole. I open the door, and there stands the little girl. I say hi, and she says….

“Can Wilson and Gracie come out and play?”

Now, I was not aware that my dogs had friends in the neighborhood besides their pal Ernie, let alone that they could “go out and play.” Fortunately, in my speechless moment her mother grabbed her, apologized, and took her inside. After that incident said little girl was seen only once. Last Friday I was taking out my trash and she ran to keep up with me. She said “Can I ask you a question”, I said sure… her reply left me speechless again..

“Am I annoying?”

Naturally I said no. What was I going to do, tell an 8 year old grown ups ran when they saw her coming?? The next morning, this past Saturday, a miracle happened, THEY MOVED!!! No more little girl… or her 19 multiples. Wilson and Gracie suddenly have less to fear, and the condos are safe again.

Now, who's moving in next?!