Just Another Holiday With The Fam

Every now and then I have flashbacks to one night of my youth, it mildly resembles the set up on a cheesy horror movie. Little girl gets out of bed in her floor length nightgown and peers out the door. The wind is banging the trees against the windows and there is barely any light in the hallway. I would peek around the corner, and then run with all my might into the bathroom, slam and lock the door. Phew. That was close. The same ritual to be repeated on the way back to my room, my heart was in my chest, I was petrified of seeing him...you know... the Easter Bunny. What was my childhood reasoning?? Any man made to wear a PASTEL bunny suit can not be a happy person. I would not get in his way.



Now Easter is less of a tradition with my family, and we are all perfectly ok with that. My dad recently broke his ankle and had to get 7 screws put in his leg. He is having a tough time getting around so it was an easy going Sunday.



I was sitting on my parents bed in between the two of them, on my mom's laptop. Dad gets his crutches up to go to the bathroom, which is directly to our right. As he nears the toilet my mom tells me (and I am so utterly grateful for this)...



"He doesn't close the door so you might want to look away"



Wow. You don't have to tell me twice.



We then did what any completely awesome Texas family would do for Easter dinner. We ordered Chuy's Tex Mex to go. My mom is a lover of Chili Rellenos. Now I don't expect everyone to know how to spell this or even to pronounce it, but if you work there I expect a little more than this....

Overall it was a nice little weekend with friends and family. Despite the fat lip I now have. I got in a fight this weekend. Now I'm not much of a fighter, and I always believe its best to just walk away. But this guy just would not back down and would NOT get out of my way. So we had a face off. The score?

Cement : 1

Jewels : 0

And no.. I do not want a rematch.

Weekend Wrap Up

As previously stated, I was at my parents home in North Dallas this weekend for a wedding. I spent 3 days and 3 nights up there and was going pretty much non-stop. I had a blast, some surprises, some yawns, some lessons, and generally a fun time throughout.

Some things I noted;

-It is fun to get a group of old high school friends together to talk about crazy things like vomit and snuggies. Not necessarily together, although entirely appropriate...

-I am still capable of getting home at 5:30 in the morning.

-My parents are still capable of REALLY REALLY disliking it when I get home at 5:30 in the morning.

-Never let a gay man with good taste give you beer in his home. You will like it, you will want it instead of domestic, and it will be expensive. Damn you Ryan and your Stella.

-All weddings should have a mandated alcohol supply. Seriously. I understand the joyous occasion but at least put BYOB on your invitation or something. Mini liquor bottles aren’t just for hotels and airplanes anymore! I just realized all things above involved alcohol…. All the more reason to always have it at weddings…

-A $60+ dollar tab for two people is WAY too much beer.

-Upon running into him, literally...I still feel slight embarrassment for those harassing "I like you" phone calls I made to Brian Finkelstein in 7th grade, chalk this up to "the people I didn't expect to see on Saturday night".

-Telling guys Tamara and I met in a Backstreet Boy chat room is still the best way to get rid of them EVER.

-The Tunacado at Ra in The Shops at Legacy is one of the best things I have EVER HAD.

-A party weekend is not best during Daylight Savings Time.

Overall, there is nothing better than reconnecting with tons of old friends for a weekend and feeling young again.... and now we get in less trouble....well.... sort of...

Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm

I am at my parents house for a wedding this weekend. I made the ever so exciting 3.5 hour drive last night and then went to bed in my brothers messy (understatement of the century) room. This morning, my Dad and my brother were kind enough to take my car to the family mechanic.

My Dad has always been a goofy absentminded guy, and whether intentionally or not, he is hilarious.

After my Dad and brother returned, I was letting the dogs in the backyard while talking to my brother and my Mom.

Mom : Where's your dad? Did he leave? (yelling) AL!!!!

Al: Here (this was coming from the next room)

So Mom walks off to him..... and then....

Mom : Where are your pants?

Now that's something you don't want to hear....

Oh boy.

This Time, Those Years

At this time in my childhood until the age of 13, I was in a light blue house with white shutters off a red dirt road in Mobile, Alabama. I was with my biological father, my stepmother Gina, and my brother and sister Justin and Jenna. I had only been there 6 days and 5 nights, and I was leaving in two short days. Then, I would be in a red and brown brick house, on a paved road, in Plano, TX. I would be with my Mom, the only DAD that I now know, and my brother and sister Trevor and Bethany.

This was my childhood, this was my normal.

The day after Christmas I did not see friends and share toys with my siblings. The day after Christmas I said goodbye to my family I had spent every moment with the last six months, and flew to the home of "my family" I hardly knew. Calling a man Dad who frightened me slightly, and commanded I say "yes sir" and "no ma'am" in military fashion, and hugging a brother and sister I hardly knew. There I had another Christmas, but I was the unwilling star. I was the only one with presents left from Santa, and everyone wanted to see "how much I'd grown." This "side's" grandparents rushed over, neighbors stopped by, all for the "Julie Show."

I just wanted my Mom.

New Years Day, my last day on that red dirt road, I am mixed with emotions of guilt - because I want to see my Mom, sadness - because I must leave this other family, and confusion- because I don't know what emotions its ok for me to show which "side".

These days still have a place in my head. It has been 14 years since the other "side" ceased to exist in my world(not by my choice, but their own). Yet December 26-January 2nd, and June 10 through July 21st, still send a strange feeling to my heart.

Do not misunderstand, I am thankful everyday that my parents divorced when I was a baby. My birth father was a controlling man, and the man my Mom is with now, who IS my Dad is amazing, he and my Mom are wonderful parents. But those memories, those feelings of obligation, of guilt and of confusion, they don't go away, they just get buried in the business of every day life.

14 years ago was the last time this little girl was on that red dirt road, and all she wanted was to go home.

A Break From Politics to Focus on Me

I feel I’ve lost my way

I have gotten so involved in politics. So trapped in the pattern of waking up, going to work, going home for dinner, some puppy and tv time, and then to bed, I’m on auto pilot. I suppose I am reaching this plateau. The realization that I am standing still and not moving side to side, up and down, but remaining sedentary hits me in the one question I have received lately from old friends.

“What have you been up to?” or “What’s new with you”

To these questions I have no response, merely “same old, same old.” I am almost 27 years old. I am in the middle of what some people would label an amazing and fun filled time. Yet I truly have nothing new to say or add to my recent “happenings.”

Last week I stepped outside my box, just a bit. I went to see So You Think You can Dance with two friends, one old, one new. I dyed my hair red, yep, red.

I went to see New Kids on The Block for the first time since I was 9 years old and truly thought they would appreciate it if I wore one of their shirts to the concert and take notice. (They didn't) It was SO FUN to sit there and sing the old songs from when I was a kid. And they looked pretty good too.

What an amazing time I had last week. Here I am in the middle of this week asking myself, now what? Do I just go back to the routine? Do I just associate with the same people? What do I look forward to?

I have recently found myself doing something I never thought I would do…. Missing Dallas. Don’t panic, or get excited, I’m not going back. I am just starting to appreciate what it was to have the life I led and how much I truly enjoyed it. I could drop in and visit with my parents. I still talk to my Mom often but getting my Dad to chat on the phone is like pulling teeth. I hardly talk to my brother and sister. I have left so many great friends behind and they have just fallen beneath the cracks. Please don’t misunderstand, I have AMAZING friends here in Austin and I love all of them dearly and would not trade our friendships. I hope they continue to grow, but I don’t feel I’m seeing them either!

What I feel I am saying is I want
-to extend the figurative branch back out to my Dallas people
-I want to go out more
- I want to have fun
- I want to sleep less
-I want to reconnect
- I want to laugh

I need out of this politic bubble the world is constantly shoving at us. I need to leave my home more, see more sights, take the dogs for longer walks, and hell even run up some more credit card debt if that’s what it takes.

Three years ago, I was exhausted, deep in debt, and flying by the seat of my pants. Today I am well rested, for the most part out of debt and about as bored with myself as they come.

Where is the mix between the responsibilities adulthood and life?